Archive | January 2013

Whole Wheat Oatmeal Apple Muffins

 

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I have, finally, found a cure for what is known around here as the bewitching hour. You know what I mean… that time of day when tears are flowing (mostly yours), dinner is but a wish and a dream, husband is miles away, and house looks like a daycare threw up. Yes, I have found a solution for this trying time. What is it?

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Muffins!!!

I lamented a while ago how hard it was to make dinner with a screaming toddler thrashing around my ankles. A friend remarked, “I give mine a muffin! He’s happy!” {thanks, Megan!}

Not one to believe in magical cures, I delayed in trying this. But when I did…WOWZAS!! It works! I make mine into “mini” muffins, which, along with the purpose of tantrum-squashing, can be used for the following:

  • pleasantly easy breakfast, with a scrambled egg on the side
  • small snack with coffee
  • breakfast for the hubby on the road
  • dessert for kiddos after meals!

I have tweaked my recipe from the cookbook “Food Allergy Mama’s Baking Book.” This book has been really helpful for me, although it’s not very “healthy,” so I have adapted it a bit. (Where she uses margarine, I use palm oil shortening or coconut oil; I use whole-wheat flour in place of white, and coconut milk in place of place of soy…)

But I really loved her recipe for “Apple Muffins,” which advertised chunky apple texture in the muffin tops so I tweaked it a bit to get the following. They’re really hearty, and so yummy!

Ingredients:

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  • 4T palm shortening, dairy-free butter, or coconut oil, melted
  • 1/2 c unsweetened applesauce
  • 1 c coconut milk
  • 1 1/2 c whole wheat flour
  • 1/2 c regular oats (sorry…not pictured!)
  • 3 tsp baking powder
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1 tsp cinnamon
  • 1/3 c sugar
  • 1 1/2 cups diced, peeled apples (about 2 apples…I have used green Granny Smith and sweeter red apples, and I actually prefer the green apples!)
  • Topping: cinnamon and sugar

Instructions:

In mixer, combine melted oil, applesauce and coconut milk. In separate bowl, combine remaining dry ingredients. Add the dry ingredients to the wet ones, and stir by hand just until combined. Then add the chopped apples, being careful not to overmix.

I made mini-muffins, so I made sure to dice the apples pretty finely:

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Grease your muffin tins (or use liners) and scoop batter into the cups. Sprinkle with cinnamon and sugar mixture and bake at 375 degrees. For mini-muffins, bake for 10-12 minutes. For regular, test at 20 minutes for doneness.

I cool mine completely and put them directly in the freezer, then take one out to thaw before I want to use it. (Or, if I’m feeling like a really bad girl, I zap em in that cancer-radiating microwave for 10 seconds each. 🙂

Enjoy!

How to Introduce Your Child To Jesus (easy steps that a still-learning mommy can do)

One time when I was a middle-school teacher (a pregnant and grumpy one, this particular day), I tallied the number of questions I was asked in a 60-minute period. I wish I could remember how many it was, because I am 90% sure that this was a mere warm-up for the pure inquisition I have been experiencing at the hands of a bright-eyed, way-too-smartt and abundantly curious little boy who lives here.

I am questioned out.

I think I know what the Apostle Peter was talking about when he said we needed to be ready “in season and out of season” and “to have an answer for everyone who asks you…” Pretty sure he was talking to moms of toddlers. (He just didn’t want to come out and say it.)

In the last 48 hours, these are just a mere sampling of the questions I have been asked.

  • How do ears hear, eyes see, and boogers get in our noses?
  • Why do the trees stand up straight and tall?
  • Why do football players line up in a line?
  • How do they make the animal chicken into the food chicken? (That one was tough.)
  • What kind of animal is a Hokie bird? (“I have been instructed to respond, ‘a ferocious, fighting turkey,’ in case anyone else is curious.)
  • How do you keep the car in the lane?
  • What makes it snow?
  • Is there snacks in heaven?
  • Why do boys not wear makeup?
  • Why do men not have big tummies with babies in them?
  • Do scorpions swim in the water?
  • Do germs look like dirt?
  • How is a fire hot?
  • How do they make jelly beans?
  • What happens if girls play football?

And again, this is just a sampling, limited by a mom’s tired memory or failure to find a pencil at the right time.

This is just a beautiful, exhausting age.

I feel like a failure sometimes. I don’t have the right answers. I’m too tired, or too distracted to answer sufficiently. I don’t seize each chance, and once-in-a-childhood moments ripen and rot away.

And it’s fine if I don’t succinctly describe a twelve-man offensive rotation (which, trust me, is probably what’s happening. I’m not even sure that is a thing. Is an offensive rotation a thing? Anyways.) Likewise, it’s not the end of the world if I can’t remember how exactly it snows.

But Jesus, and heaven, and God and all that?

Yikes, I don’t want to be sleeping on the job for those questions.

I’ve thought of a few ways to intentionally teach Sam about Jesus. These are not rocket science, and I’m sure there are a bazillion books that say it better. But here are my thoughts.

  • Pray out loud, regularly. Relax, though. I don’t mean long-winded advanced churchy prayers. I am talking here about verbalizing those quick God-directed thoughts you have anyway. God, please help us find our car keys. God, I’m frustrated – help me to be patient with Ty. God, help us find our car keys. God, please help us not get lost. God, Tommy is sick. Help him feel better. God, please help us find our car keys. (I am pretty sure Sam is going to think “please help us find our car keys” is a verse in the actual Bible. But there is nothing I can do about that right now.)

And a really cool thing has happened since I’ve prayed out loud to find my car keys.

Sam, too, asks God for help.

In the past few days, he’s asked God to help him find his stuffed animals, to help him be a good football player, and to please make it snow (a particular prayer that is echoed by all members of this household). Now, of course prayer isn’t all about making God give you everything you want. But I am thrilled beyond thrilled that he thinks knows God is listening to what he needs.

  • Pray with him. Todd is way better at this than I am, so I am just going to tell you what he does. At night, they say prayers. Todd has Sam repeat after him. It is very basic stuff. “Thank you for Mommy.” Thank you for Mommy. “Help me to have a good attitude.” Help me to have a good attitude. etc. etc.

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Todd is showing Sam that he prays, teaching him how, and making it a positive experience. It is often not long, and that’s okay.

  • Throughout your day, talk about two things:
  1. God made everything.
  2. God loves them.

This is directly copied from my mother, when I watched her teach two-year-olds Sunday school. I love it because it is so do-able. I tried to teach Sam the story of Joseph and the coat today while I was making turkey tettrazini…I’m pretty sure I lost brain cells and mixed up a good portion of the details. But I can usually get “God made everything” right. even on a few hours of sleep.

  • This next one also helps when you’re tired and brain-fogged. Get a good children’s Bible and good children’s devotional. Reading a story at night as part of a routine is an easy way to teach, without exerting energy that you do not have, or explaining topics that you do not fully understand. See the links above for my two favorite choices.

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  • Music. Why re-invent the wheel, ya know? Jesus Loves Me was already written! Play it! This CD (Cedarmont Kids Bible Songs) is worth it’s weight in gold. I know there are other terrific kids CDs…any favorites you have? We listen to the Pandora station “Jesus Loves Me” radio, also. Added plus of this is that it teaches you verses to all those songs you kind of know and kind of forget.
  • Ask God to help me teach my kids about Him. I hesitate to even say this, because it is so obvious. But if I need help, I should ask for it. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. {James 1:5}

What helps your kids learn about Jesus? Does your family have favorite books or music?

 

 

feeling overwhelmed? 10 ways to beat no good, horrible days of motherhood

I’m wondering if the January pits have gotten to us over here at Smartter Each Day. {ps. there is only one of us. but it sounds better if there are plural of us in the grumpy-pits.}

A brief scan of the last few posts and you’d never guess we’ve had ten days of rainy, post-Christmas January bleakness (read with sarcasm) 🙂

I’m thrilled to have a guest post today at the beautiful “A Delightful Home” blog on “Help for a Horrible, No Good Day of Motherhood.” Read the full post here and let me know what you think!

5 good things about days when you feel like a useless blob

Well, I guess I’m not totally a useless blob, since I bet there are no other works of literature with that creative title. So ten points for originality.

Do you ever have unproductive days? Do you ever have days where your brain feels like mush, your tummy feels like mush, all the food you make looks like mush? Just a useless, useless blob of female. (I think I’ve officially turned my husband off as he’s reading this.)

But for real.I think it’s January. Have I mentioned that I hate January? The only thing worse than January is muddy, rainy, specifically NOT SNOWING wetness in January.

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I am just so blah in January.

And this un-productivity is especially troublesome for us Germans. Here are a few random things about Germans.

  • We LOOOOOVE casseroles.
  • We hate crying in front of people.
  • And, we love hard work ethic and productivity. This was instilled in me way back in the day, and has stuck with me ever since. Therefore, I hate naps. Therefore, just today when I was folding the laundry, the haunting scolding of my mother, “Don’t sit down and fold the laundry! Stand up!” came back to me, and so (a grown adult in the privacy of my own kitchen) I stood up to fold the towels. Are you happy, Mom?

Even though it can be cold, this German temperament does have its perks. For just one example: if you combine #1 and #3 above (hard work and casseroles), you get one HECK of a thanksgiving meal. Mashed potato stuffing?? Eight pounds of macaroni and cheese?? Need I say more??

Anyway. The downside to it, though, is that on the bad days, you feel an extra layer of patheticness. You’re mushy, you’ve made no casseroles, scrubbed no floors and have nothing to show for the day, AND to top it off, you’re a failure to your ancestors. or something along those lines.

But I was thinking today. I’m on this new kick: I think positively. At least once a day, I have a positive thought. It has revolutionized our household.

So my positive thought for today was, I wonder what I’m accomplishing when I’m accomplishing nothing? And you know what? I actually came up with some answers! Curious? Here they are:

  • On days when you’re not superwoman, you realize how annoying superwoman is. (and resolve to be at least a silent superwoman next time, bragging only to your husband, subtly, with hints.)
  • On unproductive days, you can spend more time with your kids (or people you like in general) and not feel guilty. No use tackling the world with a mushy brain. Just play Go Fish. You know?
  • You can vacuum. Hear me out here. Vacuuming is actually the perfect stay-at-home-mom activity. Kids being loud? Vacuum! Need a workout? Vacuum? Feeling chilly? Vacuum? Baby crying? Vacuum! AND, feel like you’ve done nothing all day? Vacuum! Takes no brain power at all, and always needs to be done! Viola! You’ve been productive!
  • You need God. When I am weak, then I am strong. This is the official verse of motherhood, did you know that?
  • You have something to look forward to. His mercies are new every morning, and (like my husband always reminds me, knowing my seasonal affective disorder tendencies) the sun will come out tomorrow. If you just think I’m being cliche, think about this: which is more fun, Christmas Eve or Jan. 2? Hello? Christmas Eve, with all the good stuff coming, is awesome, January second 2 is horrible!!! (With my apologies to anyone with that birthday.)

Point being, there are good days ahead. There are half marathons yet to be run. There are scrapbooks yet to be glittered and glued (not by me, but in general). There are closets that will be real-simple-quality organized. Supermom is just … well, probably, a few months away. But she lives! She will come back! So for now, enjoy the blah! It’s okay to be a useless blob every once in a while! (Right? Anyone?) 🙂

Giveaway Winner!

I’ve been thinking all day about who gets to be the lucky winner of these prizes….And we have one!

congratulations….

Rachel!

You’re the winner of a week of Absolute Organic Produce delivered to your doorstep, and a roast, two steaks, and a pound of burger from Grass Fed Moo! I hope you enjoy!

Please email me at jessicasmartt (at) gmail.com for instructions on claiming your prize! You have 48 hours, or I’ll select another winner 😉

In case anyone is curious how I selected the winner, here it is. My blog is not formatted to run Rafflecopter, the popular giveaway system (Although, sidenote…In the next few months the blog will get a new look and I will be able to! ;).

So instead I used Random Line Picker to select a winner. (This was a step up from last giveaway, where I put the names in a hat and asked Todd to pick one. 🙂

Thanks to all who entered, and all who have given these great companies some new business!

ps. If you’re bummed you didn’t win, you’ll get another chance soon…I also have some local produce baskets! So stay tuned for that!

 

Giveaway for Locals: Grass-fed Meat and Organic Produce, Delivered!

Hey local readers! It’s somebody’s lucky day! I have two awesome prizes to give away.

  • A pound of t-bone steaks, a roast, and pound of hamburger from local, grass-fed cows, courtesy of Grass Fed Moo
  • One week of organic produce delivered to your doorstep, courtesy of Absolute Organics

We’ve been eating Grass Fed Moo and Absolute Organics around here for a while, and we love them!

Grass Fed Moo

I discovered Grass Fed Moo through my local Mommies Network. The local moms raved about this delicious, grass fed meat. The cows are given no steroids, eat grass without pesticides, and are given no hormones or antibiotics. I had known that conventional meat can be dangerous for our family, and this gave me a wonderful, reasonably-priced alternative. You can order a 1/32 of a cow, up to a whole cow, with obviously a variety of cuts. Here are the things I love:

  • Reasonably priced – it costs about $5 per “meal.” I feel like this is pretty reasonable, considering it is such high quality, and some of these meals are several steaks or a large roast.
  • You get to try a variety of cuts. I’ve wowed guests with the short ribs, my husband LOVES his steak (go figure), and I love making homemade beef broth from the bones. (Really. It’s delicious!)
  • I’m supporting a local farm with good farming practices.

I’m excited to share this absolutely delicious meat with a reader!

Absolute Organics Delivered Produce

I was never a crazy-organic fan before having kids. But once I had little babies – and I’m sure many a parent identifies – the idea of feeding that precious untainted little bundle a serving-full of pesticides and dangerous chemicals…well, it all become more relevant.

Organic produce was often out of my budget and hard to find, until I began using Absolute Organics. Here’s a sample basket I got recently. (This is the $30 basket.)

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If I had bought the above this week at Harris Teeter, it would have cost $27.12, AND it wouldn’t have been delivered, AND, that’s not even for organic. Organic, it would have been much, much more expensive.

I love the idea that I’m feeding my family healthier produce, and it might just be my imagination, but it seems to taste better?!?!

Here is how Absolute Organics works. You order online (please mention my name if you place an order!), selecting the fruits/vegetables that you do and do not like. You can choose from three different sized baskets and weekly or bi-weekly delivery, to your home. (You can cancel at any time.) You leave out a cooler and get your produce! I’ve been really pleased with the owner, Vonda, on her level of communication and service. And also the quality of produce. It’s always been extremely fresh.)

The winner of this giveaway gets, in addition to the steaks, a $30 basket of your selected produce, delivered to your door. (They deliver to Charlotte, Concord, Mooresville, Huntersville, Davidson, Cornelius, and Gastonia and also to the Hickory, NC area including Conover, Newton, Lincolnton, and Denver.)

To enter to win the steak and produce, all you have to do is:

  1. “Like” Smartter Each Day on facebook, or follow blog via email if you haven’t.
  2. Comment below with your favorite vegetable. I’ll even be liberal with the term “vegetable.” Like when my sister’s high school boyfriend said, “macaroni and cheese” because it was on the Cracker Barrel “vegetable” list. You can even answer macaroni and cheese if you want, and no judging here! 🙂

I’ll announce the winner here Monday, at 8pm and the winner has 24 hours to claim her/her prize. Good luck!

** Special thanks to Eileen from Grass Fed Moo, and Vonda from Absolute Organics for helping me host this giveaway!

Priscilla’s True Life Story: Gluten-free by choice!

I met Priscilla years ago, before she had three kids and a husband! Here they all are now:

priscilla

Aren’t they cute?🙂 I knew that Priscilla and her family had made some radical changes in their diet, and I asked her to share her story about eliminating wheat and GMOs (genetically-modified organisms) from her family’s eating. I haven’t hopped on the gluten-free bandwagon totally yet (mostly because I feel like we have eliminated enough foods with Sam’s allergies!) but I sure see the merits of a diet with healthy proteins and produce at the center.

What I admire most about Priscilla is her passionate determination to make her family healthy! Gotta love that. Hope you enjoy her story! You can find Priscilla blogging here. Thanks for sharing, Priscilla!

Priscilla’s story:

Around this time last year, I was introduced to a book entitled Wheat Belly by William Davis. Dr. Davis is a cardiologist who has done a tremendous job shedding light on the history and effects of modern wheat, or as he calls it, “Frankenwheat.”

He explains why this wheat has gotten to be very poisonous and dangerous for us all. The day I started reading the book, I stopped serving “Frankenwheat” to my children and stopped eating it myself. It took a few more weeks to get my husband to understand and read the book and then he was on board too.

What I learned was so disturbing that I couldn’t in good conscience serve my children bread the next morning.

The book basically explains that the original wheat (Einkorn wheat) has been hybridized and crossbred to make the wheat plant resistant to environmental conditions, such as drought and pathogens. These dramatic and detrimental genetic changes have occurred for monetary reasons including yield-per-acre. This is the wheat that we all can find on the shelves in the supermarket in hundreds and thousands of products. Even “organic” whole wheat bread is still made from this horrible hybridized wheat. What was very troubling for me was the fact that it affects virtually all systems of the body from the brain to the skin to the intestines and the whole nervous system. Dr. Davis links it to autism, ADHD, various cancers, diseases, and even depression.

It’s been nearly a year since we decided to go gluten free. We are not perfect, but I have noticed big differences in my husband the most. He lost 30 lbs, feels more alert and actually has stomach pains when he accidentally has food with wheat in it. My three boys don’t really remember even eating wheat before! Cannon, my three year old, poked at a roll at the Thanksgiving table and asked, “What’s that?!” Since they are not allergic, it’s harder to say, “no,” but I know it’s important to us to eat healthy.

We don’t do a lot of “gluten-free” products, since we are also GMO free. Dr. Davis says that many substitutions for wheat are not good for us either, since they raise blood sugar just as high as wheat. In the book, he goes into depth on why sharp spikes in blood sugar are really detrimental to everyone’s long-term health. We have bought gluten free bread, but usually we just don’t do bread at all.

Breakfast usually consists of buckwheat pancakes with pure maple syrup (which the kids prefer over the old wheat pancakes), eggs with sausage or bacon with avocado, smoothies, or baked oatmeal. For lunch, we usually have left over dinner or do grass-fed beef hotdogs with sweet potato or rice with an egg on top with veggies.

I finally have a really great list for dinner options that everyone enjoys that don’t include wheat. It took a while of trial and error, but glad that we now have a go-to list instead of always searching and wondering if it’ll work.

Some favorites are brown rice pasta with meat sauce, stuffed peppers, meatloaf, honey-spiced chicken with mashed sweet potatoes, pot roast, chicken roast, and shepherd’s pie. Snacks typically consist of apples with peanut butter, fruit cup, cheese sticks, raisins, popcorn, bag of chips, cucumbers with hummus, homemade applesauce or some sort of homemade GF baked good. Check out my pinterest page for more ideas!

priscilla fam

 My boys have been doing great with the gluten free meals. The hardest part is when we to go to someone’s home or a birthday party. They are allowed birthday cake, but I do notice they get more hyper after they eat the wheat!

As for me, I lost about twenty pounds, but I also gave birth four months before I started the whole gluten free diet and was already losing weight slowly. It definitely accelerated the weight loss though! Overall I feel great with our diet and the changes that we’ve made.

I’m in the kitchen a lot, but we’re making it work. The kids always love to “help” with the food preparations. I enjoy teaching them what ingredients are in the foods that they are eating, just to give them an awareness of where their food originated from and the process it has taken to get to the kitchen table.

We hope to one day have our own farm with cows, pigs and chickens and grow a vegetable garden to really know and be in control of what’s in our food! Who would have thought this Puerto Rican princess from Long Island would one day want to be a farmer? LOL. Crazier things have happened, I guess…

*I highly recommend reading Wheat Belly by William Davis and also checking out westonaprice.org for additional information concerning the other changes we’ve made in our diet besides being gluten-free. I also highly recommend watching Genetic Roulette- a documentary shedding light on the GMO controversy.

 

Should moms take naps? {thoughts on guilt, rest, and how to feel peppier}

There are a few groups of people I am secretly jealous of. So secretly, that I decided to post it here, on my blog. These groups are: people with really clean and organized purses, people who are tan all year long, AND…people with lots of energy. the naturally caffeinated.

I’ve always wished I were peppier, since back in the day when I tried out for cheerleading… and didn’t make it…and there were only two girls cut…and come to think of it, they probably needed a few extra cheerleaders. Apparently I was that unpeppy. I’m fine with it, really. I’m totally, totally, over it. Absolutely no remaining feelings of failure here.

But back to the topic, I just hate feeling tired, and (unlike my husband) I do not enjoy napping. Also unlike my husband, I do not enjoy going to the bathroom. Both things, I do because I have to. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. So there you have it.

Recently, I’m feeling more tired than usual. (Sidenote – is that normal right now? My mom claims everyone feels more tired in January. Is that true?? Hmmm.) Which has led to more naps than normal, which has led me to wonder a few things:

  • Is it sometimes wrong to take naps? (Insert the sound of my husband laughing in the background.)
  • What makes you feel tired some days, and not tired other days? (Insert the broken record answer of my mother, for every. single. problem. you ever have: “It’s the hormones, honey. I promise it’s the hormones.”)
  • What should you do on days where you feel tired?
  • Why do I feel so guilty when I feel tired?

image by Leswek Nowak

A long time ago, when I was a teacher, one of my co-workers claimed his wife never, ever napped, and she listed her reason as something along the lines of “laziness doesn’t accomplish anything, blah blah blah….”

I remember thinking that this woman (if she really were a woman, and not some sort of angelic/alien creature) surely, surely developed this conviction AFTER her young children were raised. And it was still a dumb one.

Who knows what she meant, or what she actually did in the past or present. All I know is that those comments twinged in me some conflict that I have over what to do when I’m tired. As I’ve been mulling over this for a few weeks, I’ve come to a few conclusions.

  •  Naps are like donuts. Sometimes, you should say no. And sometimes, you should just thank the good Lord for all of his many blessings, and eat the whole, jelly-filled, sugar crusted, entire thing. With coffee and heavy cream.

Okay, so the analogy is a little muddled. But here’s what I’m saying. Yesterday, I was just pooped. I’m glad I rested for 20 minutes. Today I was fizzling too, but the best thing I could have done was turn on some peppy music, clean my kitchen, and write some emails. I felt much better than I would have otherwise. It’s hard to know sometimes: nap, or no? Donut, or no? Sometimes I pray for wisdom. That helps.

  • Energy is tied to attitude. Think back to college, if you doubt me. Or when you just fell in love. Of course you were tired. But you were so excited, so happy, so thrilled, you just didn’t feel tired. Life was too fun. How does this apply? Go back to college! When you’re feeling tired, ask yourself, self, am I just bored? What excites me? Think about and plan that! For me, this means when I feel myself getting that “blah,” foggy feeling, I think about the next party coming up, or daydream about the next vacation, or organize my cupboards (sad, but true). I find myself perking right up!
  • When you’re honestly just so tired, stop. But stop the right things. Here’s what I mean. On those afternoons when I’m in a foggy daze of exhaustion, usually, I end up mindlessly cleaning up the house and ignoring the kids. Hello!?! That is backwards! This week, still getting over my cold and feeling icky, in the afternoons (instead of trying to do everything at once and getting annoyed at everyone), I just played with my kids! When I was too tired to do that, I just sat down on the couch and watched them! The dishes crusted over and the laundry wrinkled, but I realized: Ty loves organizing things! And Sam actually helps him sometimes! And when Ty is excited, he does this standing-on-his-tippee-toes hop, hop that is just adorable! I realized how infrequently I do just stop and watch my kids. What a shame!
  • You can’t help your feelings. If I feel tired, I’m going to consciously fight feeling guilty on top of feeling tired. What an unnecessary load. You can’t help how you feel!
  • But you can change your feelings! Actions change feelings. Here are some things that make me feel less tired: a brisk walk, a glass of ice water, talking about something I’m excited about, eating a snack/small meal/big meal, laughing with my kids, a cup of coffee and a banana muffin, a shower, turning on music I love, planning something fun.

ps. here are some things that do NOT make me more energized: checking facebook, paying bills, complaining, thinking about all the moms who are way more productive than me, and answering a series of repeated questions from Sam.

If you’re interested in reading more, I thought this post and this one by Crystal had some good thoughts on how to feel peppier.

What about you? Do you feel guilty when you feel tired? What energizes you on those low-energy days?

on loss: {How To Enjoy Life When Others Hurt}

warning. this post is not a funny one. (In case the title confused you.) I did have an idea for a funny one today… I could have written down all of the 386 questions that my poor husband was asked trying to watch his favorite team lose their playoff game. (“Daddy, which one is R.G. III? Daddy, do you like the Giants? Daddy, what do the quarterbacks do, Daddy? Dad, once I did a big tackle. Dad, is this game fun? Dad, who’s winning now, Dad? Dad, let’s play catch. Dad why did you yell? What happened, Dad?” times 140, with each question repeated after three seconds if it wasn’t answered.)

Overall, I give Todd an A- for fatherhood today. I would say he answered at least 90% of the questions, mostly in a pleasant tone of voice. So good job, Todd.

Anyway, this blog post is not about the Redskins loss. It’s about something sadder. 😦

Do you feel like this? For months and months you think nothing of death. Then something happens (or two or three things happen) and for a few weeks you live in that somber, uncomfortable cloud of how short and scary life is?

The first straw this time was that horrendous, unimaginable murder of little first-graders. So, so awful.

Then I read about a little toddler – again unthinkable – who died when her bedroom dresser fell on her.

Most recently, a friend of many friends, a young mom, my age, lost a long battle with breast cancer. She’s survived by a brave husband and one of the cutest little three-year old girls I’ve ever seen.

I am just sad.

I know we should die, but it should be old ones, safely and painlessly, in their sleep. Not still-needed mommies and babies and little ones getting ready for kickball.

It’s not fair.

I’ve said this before,  but I’m most angered because I know it could happen here. Could happen to me, or mine.

And then my hypochondria starts flaring up… My lymph nodes feel extra swollen, my fatigue extra-unexplained. Everything seems extra precarious and fragile.

I can’t make it untrue – death is real, and it’s sad. It just is.

A few things, along with the sadness, have been circling my head these days. I thought I’d share them.

  • This is going to sound a little cheesy and dramatic… But I keep thinking of this quote from C.S. Lewis’ The Horse and His Boy:

“Child,’ said the Lion, ‘I am telling you your story, not hers. No one is told any story but their own.” (Italics mine.)

It’s awful to imagine what the moms from Newtown feel, or any parents without kids, or daddies without their wives… I don’t think I could live through that. But I don’t live their stories. I live mine. God has been so good to me. And the God of my yesterday is the God of my tomorrows. He will still be faithful, and still take care of me.

  • This song. My favorite thing is that my boys love it, even if they don’t really understand it. I like to think maybe they sort of do though.
  • This Scripture: “If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men. But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleepThen the end will come, when he hands over the kingdom to God the Father after he has destroyed all dominion, authority and power. For he must reign until he has put all his enemies under his feet. The last enemy to be destroyed is death.” (I Corinthians 15).
  • And, this thought. Sometimes when I hear about something awful, I feel obligated to have a really awful day. This is wrong! The best thing I can do for anyone is enjoy my today. I can honor what they lost by treasuring what I have. I will enjoy the chubby little toes I get to see tomorrow, and the beautiful sky we can look up and see, and that my legs move and walk and (sometimes) run. I’ll enjoy peace and warm socks and cup of coffee, and enjoy how I can read God’s word, and laugh, and not be sad tomorrow. and so should you.
image by Andrew Clark

One more plug for planning day (and how I spent mine)

image by Lotus Head

Recently I talked about how wonderful, amazing, and productive it is to get out of the house and have a planning day.

The Lord bless him, my wonderful husband, for two years in a row, has all but ushered me out of the door, practically ordering me to Panera to go do my planning. This year we were all sick with all colds, so I got a later start than normal. But it was still wonderful.

Here’s what I did:

  • Try not to do a weird, giddy laughing thing in my car as I’m driving out of the neighborhood, alone, to Panera. Cause that would be weird, giggling alone in the car.
  • Pull into Panera at 10:45 and use most of my willpower to not immediately order two full sandwiches, a croissant, and a bread bowl of soup for lunch.
  • Find a table. This is quite a process. I end up looking like a dog turning around in circles trying to decide where to sit down: Set stuff down on table. Deem it too dirty and move to the next. Nope, too far from the fireplace. Let’s try this one. Move again when I realize I’m hearing a nearby couple talking about her mastectomy. This table teeters. That one doesn’t have a comfy chair…Ahh! Finally! The perfect seat.
  • At this point I did feel like I had done enough to deserve a lunch break. I ordered the same thing I order every time, the Frontega Chicken Sandwich with Creamy Tomato soup and an apple. And a water, with a LARGE CUP, please. What’s up with the communion-sized water cups? Just because I like water doesn’t mean I have 1/6 of the thirst level.
  • Anyways. Once I finally got down to business, I began by praying, as I mentioned in the earlier post, that God would direct this time. Because I kind of felt like you do at the start of summer vacation… You have all these goals and are just sure at the end you’ll have revolutionized your life. (No pressure, or anything.)
  • The first thing that came to mind was that I need to pray daily for a few things. My kids’ salvation, whether or not we should have another child, and, that God would give me the strength to homeschool my boys, because I’d love to and the only way I can is if the Lord provides the way.
  • Then, I started making my  “roles and goals” list. I mention that in my prior post, as well…You list all of your roles, and narrow down goals for each category. The roles I considered were: spiritual, preschool teacher, homeschool planning, wife, mom, homemaker, sister/sister-in-law, friend, health, and blogger.
  • Here are a few things I realized:
  1. I must think I’m a really good wife already, because somehow that category ended up blank. Sorry, Todd.
  2. I want to find some good homeschool mamas to talk to. Suggestions, anyone? 🙂
  3. I really would like to eliminate my attachment to the internet and computer. Or stop using it at the wrong times and for the wrong reasons.
  4. If I want to have another kid, I want to be prepared. You know, meals in the freezer, exercising throughout the pregnancy, letter to myself not to flip out when I’m shushing a newborn 22 hours a day, ipod playlist of songs to help me do natural labor (that’s all it takes, right? A good playlist?)  See, if I plan enough, everything will be perfect. That is my mantra. Please don’t disagree with my mantra.
  • Well, frankly, after making all these ambitious plans, I was tired. I think the Chicken Frontega was sitting gloppily in my stomach, and I found myself feeling a little sleepy. Checking my email mindlessly a couple times in a row for no good reason, that kind of thing. I fought it for a while, and then I thought, you know, this is my planning day. I can do what I want.

And what I wanted was to take a nap. So I packed up, went to my car, and took a 20-minute power nap. I woke up really rejuvenated, and also a little embarrassed when I made eye contact with the guy in the car next to me. I pretended I was finishing up a conversation on the phone and went back in.

I had a nice cup of coffee and spent the rest of the time working on our yearly budget, and letting my mind wander a bit. I don’t do that much, but it was nice and I learned a lot.

I came home so, so happy to see my kids. It felt like I had been gone for three weeks. The house also looked like I had been gone for three weeks. But I kind of missed it. Okay, I just said that because it sounded good. I did not miss cleaning the house.

But really, I loved my planning day. It made me think I should take one a few times a year to regroup!

How about you? Have you taken your day? What did you learn?