when the real world smacks you in the face (and a mom’s favorite verse)

Less than a week ago, I was cruising down the highway, kid-less, Chick-fil-a salad on my lap, all dolled up, headed for a fun and relaxing mom’s getaway weekend.

It was awesome. I learned so much. I ate two whole servings of hotel hash browns for breakfast (and a cup of steaming coffee) without being interrupted by anyone a) asking me for my food or b) pooping their pants. I sat still in a chair all day long, scheming about how to be a better mom. I had adult conversations, and ate Dove chocolates anytime I wanted.

I left feeling so rejuvenated to be the world’s. best. mom when I came back. And for 24 hours, I was close to it. I guess it was about day three when the poop really hit the fan smeared on my jeans while Ty wrangled and cried like I was giving him 23 vaccines. Real life, in other worlds, smacked me in the face.

Today, if you saw me right now, you would think I have been in solitary confinement and torture for the prior week, not rejuvenated from a better-mom conference. Honest to goodness. It’s rough.

Here I am. Aren't I awesome? You're welcome for putting this really icky picture up so you feel better about yourself.

Here I am. Aren’t I awesome? You’re welcome, for me putting this really icky picture up so you feel better about yourself.

Also, Sam must have had a sixth sense that my heart has been softened about discipline. He’s responded by shouting, “No, Mommy” in my face at the top of his lungs, poking his brother with forks, and telling me, “You’re so naughty. You’re a naughty Mommy” over and over, in the front yard, while throwing buckets and shovels.

Ty, similarly, must have picked up that I’m trying to be more patient, and wanted to help me practice those skills by using only a whine tone for the hours of 7am-6:30pm. And also, this morning at 5:00am, for about forty minutes. He is giving me so much practice.

I had also resolved to get up earlier and pray and read my Bible, and shower. I did it for two days. Then, the boys got up crazy early and I didn’t have time. And last night Sam slept in our bed with an asthma flare-up, so I was exhausted and skipped it.

I’m just a big, fat failure of a mom.

And the only thing worse than being a big fat failure of a mom, is doing that after such wonderfully high hopes.

SIGH.

This afternoon as I was hanging up the laundry, I remembered a blog I wrote awhile ago. It’s called “In Defense of Calvinism.” Last time I checked it’s not one of my most popular posts, but I just love it.

And I also remembered this verse:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;[a]
his mercies never come to an end;
23 they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:21-22, italics mine)

I have always loved that God gives us new mercies in the morning, but I think I got the ending mixed up. I’d always think of it like, every day, God gives me a fresh chance to be good.

No.

In the morning, it’s GOD that is faithful, not me.

I am so thankful for fresh starts. And conferences that make me want to be better. And conversations with friends that put things in perspective. And girls’ nights out. And date nights. And nap times. I need breaks.

But thank you God, that you’re going to be faithful even if I’m not.

“Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the LORD has been good to you” (Psalm 116:7).

 

 

 

 

 

 

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6 thoughts on “when the real world smacks you in the face (and a mom’s favorite verse)

  1. I can so relate!!! Thanks for sharing your heart! I think I feel this way every single day! I think I’ll start thinking: When I’m crying b/c I’m wearing poop and spit-up…surely there’s another mom somewhere doing the same!

    • Thanks, Erin! I often laugh at the verse, “rejoicing because your brothers around the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings..” or something like that. I change it to “sisters” in my head 🙂

  2. This sounds very familiar… Except for the poop jeans that is. Ignore the whining or tell him you cant understand him. works on my 5 year old.

    I need a sign in each room of my house that says Patience is a Virtue. And one that days Pick Up Your Own Mess. And one that says God is Watching, You’d Better Behave. I need a lot of signs.

  3. An observation: the verse about God’s steadfast love and HIs mercies being new every morning is from the book of LAMENTATIONS. So this is what we’re supposed to think about when we (as moms) want nothing more than to whine and complain. When we’re in the dumps. It was written right after Israel was trashed by Babylon, I think. When things looked bleak.

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