Archive | July 2011

funny

There has been a lot of laughing in our house recently. Also, whining. And a good bit of screaming. But that’s all for another post. Here are a few of the funny things which I want to remember forever. I have a lot of guilt that I don’t have any of these on video, but everytime I get out the camcorder we end up with eight minutes of Sam repeatedly asking to see movies of himself. Not real entertaining. Anyways, here are some funny tidbits from Sam.

– One morning I heard him singing Happy Birthday to Samule, which I thought was random until I remembered that I told him (when we drug him, kicking and screaming, home from the beach) that when we got home we were going to celebrate Samule’s birthday.
– “Mom, what is that wood-packer packing?” (woodpecker?)
– “One day I will be a horse, and the lawn mowers will cut off MY toesies.” (This misunderstanding stems, I think, from the time we were in a barn and saw a horse toenail on the ground. Obviously it was a bit traumatic.)
– “Mom, I’m yaffing at Ty because he’s doing some funny toots.” (Boys.)
– “Mom how silly if Cappy’s birthday was a big giant poopie.” (???)
– “One day I will be a storm chaser, and I will run and run and run and chase them.”
– “If I eat this mustard, it’s goin make me big and strong and have big muscles.” (mustard = vegetable?)
– “Mom, we won’t be having this. It’s Dad’s money.” (said on the toilet, pointing to the toilet paper. I guess that’s what happens when you try to give lectures on fiscal responsibility to two year olds who waste rolls of toilet paper.)
– “Dad goes to work, and we buy noodles (pause), and pasta (pause) and espetti (“spaghetti”) and yots of things.” (gleanings from the same conversation, I think, on how Dad leaves everyday to get us money.)
– “Look how big me is!”
– “If I saw an alligator, he would say, ‘Hi Sam,’ and me would say, ‘Hi’ back.”
– “Did you see that, Mom? It’s Charlotte.” (Said regarding any building larger than a two-story home.)
– “Who’s that friend?” (while pointing to any random person who looks interesting. We need to work on the dangerous-strangers concept.)
– “Mom, I’m mowing the yard like Gelver.” (Said while swinging a ball-popper to smash into holly bushes. The pinnacle of Sam’s ambitions are to be just like the lawn care guys that work with Todd. ps, every lawn care guy is named Gelver.)
– “Yook, guys, yook. I’m making your dinner.” (Said to the stuffed sheep, while plating them uncooked spaghetti strands.)
– (later) “If they eat all their espetti, they can eat a marshmellow!”
– “One day I will go to work.” Me: What will you do at work? Sam: “I will play baseball, and football, and soccer, and golf.”
– “Dad, you’re very brave, and me is very brave.”
– “Yook, Mom, I’m a yizard (lizard).” This was said as the speaker was scaling down the ottoman head first. I was at least able to convince him that lizards jump down furniture hands first.
– And finally, I know you’ve probably had enough of the bathroom humor, but I am raising boys here, people. You shouldn’t expect any less. I want to relay a typical morning dialogue during the first poop of the day. It is quite the scene. It lasts at least fifteen minutes, but Sam makes sure you aren’t bored by giving play-by-play for all the goings-on. “Oh, this goin be a big one, Mom. Ooooh, here’s a yittle poopie. Now it’s goin be a big one, comin in my bombostity.” (sp?)

What a riot. I think God made little kids so entertaining so completely exhausted moms wouldn’t fall asleep on the job 🙂

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home organizing

My family makes fun of me for a few reasons. I am going to assume that it is because they love me. Among these things: how I eat like my food is literally going to sprint from the plate unless I devour it like the Passover, the little cheer-thing I do after half a glass of wine, games I invent and make everyone play (ask me about the one I’m going to copyright and make millions off of), and lastly, how I discover hip new trends two years late. But seriously, anyone…Jack Johnson? Isn’t he great? Speaking of, if you don’t have an ipod you should get one.
Anyway, in keeping with this trend I am going to go out on a limb here and recommend something amazing, which I’m sure 95% of the free world has already discovered: HOME ORGANIZATION!!!!! Humor me here.
But I need to start by telling you this. My husband and I, like most married couples, have some long-standing arguments. Things like, is K & W a restaurant, what defines “clean,” “spicy,” and “yelling,” if one should consume a Mountain Dew everyday of the year, and whether or not the world will come to an end if there are dishes in the sink overnight. (It will.) I will let you guess which side of the fence yours truly falls for most of those. Anyway, another argument is over our townhome, whether it was a mistake to buy. I say we were suckers. Todd, Mr. Always Positive, claims it was a good decision. Who is right really matters little, because like it or not we are stuck with it, apparently, for the next decade or two.
It’s interesting, because what began as minor peeves and the inklings of should-we-sell conversations, now, after approximately two boys, four years, two realtors, eight showings, one job transfer, and, oh yes, one wife who is confined to these 1950-square-foot walls 24 hours a day with aforementioned boys, eventually fermented into full-blown NEED TO SELL discontment. It keeps reminding me of this quote by Martin Luther. “First the Germans killed the Jews because they hated them. Then they hated them because they killed them.” Forgive me for making a comparision of the Holocaust to something as petty as unwanted real estate. But it’s true. Actions breed feelings, perhaps more than vice versa.

But it’s true in a good way, too, and that is the point of my blog today. Act like you love something, and you will. What this means in practical terms, is that sometimes, the very best, productive, and prudent thing to do, is to spend a few hundred of unbudgeted dollars in home organization paraphernalia at Ikea. Yes, that is what I said.
I am learning, here in our little townhome, a very, very precious lesson. More precious than, dare I say it, a nice big yard, or a guest room, or lower HOA fees, or whatever. This lesson is contentment. I know I sound like a spoiled brat, that I need to learn this lesson over something so silly as living in a perfectly good home, but it is what it is. I am learning to be happy, here. To be happy now.
And I am loving this. Come visit. I dare you to open my coat closet, to find a pen in my kitche, to wrap a present, to peak in my laundry space, to step in my closet. My house is getting organized!!! Again, at the risk of sounding embarassingly old news, I am having the time of my life finding a “home” for everything, maxamizing storage space, putting things where I logically need to find them, installing shelves (why did I not do this before??), and, to put it simply, making myself at home. Making peace with my present. It is much easier to live in a house if you aren’t worried about what the next buyer is going to think of it. Which makes sense, because, apparently, there IS no next buyer. At least not until we retire. But that’s fine. I’m happy here.
Unless, that is, that any of you are so moved by this awesome sales job that you’re interested in viewing a Lake Norman luxury townhome at a steal of a price. In which case, send me an email and we’ll see what we can do. 🙂