funny

There has been a lot of laughing in our house recently. Also, whining. And a good bit of screaming. But that’s all for another post. Here are a few of the funny things which I want to remember forever. I have a lot of guilt that I don’t have any of these on video, but everytime I get out the camcorder we end up with eight minutes of Sam repeatedly asking to see movies of himself. Not real entertaining. Anyways, here are some funny tidbits from Sam.

– One morning I heard him singing Happy Birthday to Samule, which I thought was random until I remembered that I told him (when we drug him, kicking and screaming, home from the beach) that when we got home we were going to celebrate Samule’s birthday.
– “Mom, what is that wood-packer packing?” (woodpecker?)
– “One day I will be a horse, and the lawn mowers will cut off MY toesies.” (This misunderstanding stems, I think, from the time we were in a barn and saw a horse toenail on the ground. Obviously it was a bit traumatic.)
– “Mom, I’m yaffing at Ty because he’s doing some funny toots.” (Boys.)
– “Mom how silly if Cappy’s birthday was a big giant poopie.” (???)
– “One day I will be a storm chaser, and I will run and run and run and chase them.”
– “If I eat this mustard, it’s goin make me big and strong and have big muscles.” (mustard = vegetable?)
– “Mom, we won’t be having this. It’s Dad’s money.” (said on the toilet, pointing to the toilet paper. I guess that’s what happens when you try to give lectures on fiscal responsibility to two year olds who waste rolls of toilet paper.)
– “Dad goes to work, and we buy noodles (pause), and pasta (pause) and espetti (“spaghetti”) and yots of things.” (gleanings from the same conversation, I think, on how Dad leaves everyday to get us money.)
– “Look how big me is!”
– “If I saw an alligator, he would say, ‘Hi Sam,’ and me would say, ‘Hi’ back.”
– “Did you see that, Mom? It’s Charlotte.” (Said regarding any building larger than a two-story home.)
– “Who’s that friend?” (while pointing to any random person who looks interesting. We need to work on the dangerous-strangers concept.)
– “Mom, I’m mowing the yard like Gelver.” (Said while swinging a ball-popper to smash into holly bushes. The pinnacle of Sam’s ambitions are to be just like the lawn care guys that work with Todd. ps, every lawn care guy is named Gelver.)
– “Yook, guys, yook. I’m making your dinner.” (Said to the stuffed sheep, while plating them uncooked spaghetti strands.)
– (later) “If they eat all their espetti, they can eat a marshmellow!”
– “One day I will go to work.” Me: What will you do at work? Sam: “I will play baseball, and football, and soccer, and golf.”
– “Dad, you’re very brave, and me is very brave.”
– “Yook, Mom, I’m a yizard (lizard).” This was said as the speaker was scaling down the ottoman head first. I was at least able to convince him that lizards jump down furniture hands first.
– And finally, I know you’ve probably had enough of the bathroom humor, but I am raising boys here, people. You shouldn’t expect any less. I want to relay a typical morning dialogue during the first poop of the day. It is quite the scene. It lasts at least fifteen minutes, but Sam makes sure you aren’t bored by giving play-by-play for all the goings-on. “Oh, this goin be a big one, Mom. Ooooh, here’s a yittle poopie. Now it’s goin be a big one, comin in my bombostity.” (sp?)

What a riot. I think God made little kids so entertaining so completely exhausted moms wouldn’t fall asleep on the job 🙂

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